The saying “timing is everything” is definitely an important factor when telling your children about your plans for divorce. While no time may seem like a “good time,” there are certainly times that are bad times.
It’s important to realize that your children may become emotional or have questions or concerns. You should take into consideration other activities going on in their lives. Your divorce shouldn’t be “all about you.” Putting your children first and being sensitive to their needs is vitally important. Your sensitivity is reflected in the timing.
Baby Center advises parents to choose a time when they know with certainty that they’re getting a divorce. Telling children that you might get a divorce only generates confusion and instability.
Also, you don’t want to wait until one spouse is moving out to have the conversation. It’s a good idea to give children some time to adjust to the idea before changes in how you live or their routines occur. However, telling them far in advance can be problematic also if they have a lot of time to worry and start dreading the separation.
When your child is heading off to school in the morning or you’re going to work or when your child is going to bed at night are not good times to let them know about your divorce. They may have questions and the timing cuts their ability to express themselves. They are left alone with their thoughts and upsets about it.
If you have holiday get-togethers with families, this also isn’t the time to spring the news. You wouldn’t tell your child on or near their birthday. You don’t want them to associate Christmas, Thanksgiving or their birthday as a sad time when mom and dad sprung the divorce news. It may not come as a surprise that January is a busy month for divorces, and this is because many couples wait until the holidays are over to file for divorce.
Anyone considering divorce is wise to discuss their situation in detail with an attorney before making final divorce decisions. At C.E. Borman & Associates we take the time to answer your questions and ensure you’re informed about all the legal aspects of ending a marriage. We also counsel you on the best legal options for approaching divorce based on your unique circumstances.