It’s not surprising that divorce is difficult for everyone involved. However, men going through divorce often do not get the support that women do. Like women, men deal with similar issues stemming from divorce. For example, they deal with financial problems, losing their relationship, family identity, etc. Not getting the support that women do, all of this can lead to stress and other health issues. On the outside, it may seem that men get through a divorce more quickly and easily move on. However, because men do not get the support that women do, they tend to repress their emotions and skip the grieving process. However, men must take similar steps to how women process and get through their divorce, so our Bryan, Texas, family law firm is providing some tips on how men can successfully get through a divorce.
What are men’s emotional stages of a divorce?
Men actually have a range of emotions after divorce. Below are the five most common stages.
Shock and denial. The feelings of shock and denial are typically the first stage that men go through. They feel confused and numb and often do not want to accept or talk about starting the process of divorce.
Repress feelings. Once the pain of the divorce becomes a reality, men do not want to show their feelings. Sometimes repressing feelings is followed by out-of-character behavior, or they become disengaged.
Anger. Unfortunately, this anger is usually directed at their ex-spouse, allowing them to feel a sense of control and continue communication with their ex-spouse even if it is unhealthy.
Not wanting to get help. A man either tries to cope with the emotions of his divorce alone or turns a blind eye to his problems.
Turning point and acceptance. At this last stage, men either figure out how to move on, get help, or continue down a spiral of loss and depression. When men move on, a part of it can sometimes mean moving on quickly into a new relationship or even marriage. However, if a man has not resolved and processed their feelings from their previous relationship, it can lead them down a similar path.
Tips on how men can get through divorce
It is essential that men have the tools to process their divorce and move on healthily so that they can have a fresh outlook on life and start over. Below are some tips on how men can get through a divorce.
Give yourself time to grieve and get professional help if you need it.
The stigma of asking of getting help or asking for help is becoming a thing of the past. It is so important to take care of your mental health and take the time to process your divorce. Remember, self-care is essential, and time does heal all wounds.
Surround yourself with people who make you feel good.
Strong social connections and reconnecting with friends majorly influence long-term health and well-being. In addition, spending time with friends and having people to rely on in a crisis benefits everyone.
Keep yourself busy and find activities.
Think about what you enjoyed doing before you had children or even got married. If you split child custody time with your spouse, you will have days when you don’t have your children. On those days, plan out positive things you enjoy doing—for example, joining a sports league, gym, or local group events.
Reflect on your relationship.
Turn a negative into a positive. First, think about what you learned from your old relationship and how you can grow. Then, consider what you can offer and bring into a new relationship when the time is right.
Focus on your children.
Divorce is difficult for the whole family, and your children feel similar emotions to what you are going through. Let your children know that this is a process you will all get through together. A new chapter with your children allows you to focus on just them. Create a new routine and think of exciting and different ways to spend time with them. They can look forward to doing special activities when spending time with you.
Don’t jump into a new relationship.
Starting a new relationship right after a new relationship can lead you into a spiral of continuous bad relationships. Therefore, reflecting, grieving, and moving on from your past relationship is essential before jumping into a new one.
Need help with divorce in Bryan, Texas?
Divorce is never easy, and it is unfortunate that men do not get the same support as women. However, our Texas divorce law firm is there for you and will support you as you navigate your divorce. We can answer all your questions, provide you with all your options, and be there to guide you from beginning to end.
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C.E. Borman & Associates is an American Lawyer Top 100 Law Firm.
C.E. Borman & Associates have served the Brazos Valley for over 20 years. Our attorneys and legal staff are committed to straight talk and honest advice.