Everyone has the right to find that one special person, especially after you have been through a divorce. Going out there, starting fresh, and finding happiness is so important. However, when it comes to your children, it is important that you introduce your new partner to them when is it the right time for them. It is not something you should rush even if you might think you have found a wonderful partner for yourself. So, the question that clients frequently ask is how to introduce my new partner to my children?
“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe
Tips for Introducing Your New Partner to Your Children
The three most important things to remember before introducing your children to any new important relationship is to;
- consider how long you have been divorced
- the ages of your children
- how serious is your new relationship
Waiting until the appropriate time will pay off for everyone in the long run.
How and when to introduce your children to your new partner can depend on the age of your children. For children that are 10 years old or younger, a new relationship in your life may lead them to have feelings of confusion, jealousy, anger, or sadness. Extremely young children may become attached quickly and could have feelings of abandonment if a breakup should occur.
Older children may understand that you are dating and you need companionship. However, they may act out towards you or have feelings of resentment. It’s important to have open and honest communication with older children, make sure to include them in decisions when it comes to your new partner, and be aware of the physical contact with your new partner in front of older children.
Timing is everything
As mentioned above timing is everything when introducing your new partner to your children. You might be over your divorce, but they may not be. Some children may think that their parents are going to eventually get back together. It’s important you give your children enough time to heal from your divorce. Instead, continue to date and focus on creating a healthy co-parent relationship so your children feel loved and adjusted. Experts say make sure you have been dating for several months and that you are both on the same page about your relationship and your children.
Talk to your ex-spouse about your new partner
You don’t have to get permission from your ex-spouse to date again. However, in order to have a good co-parenting relationship, you should have honest communication with your ex-spouse about dating. You might also want to set fair boundaries for each other for new relationships to continue to protect your children.
Talk to your children
When it’s time for your children to meet your new partner, it’s a good idea that you have a conversation with your children before introducing your new partner to your children. Explain to your children that you have met someone very special that you would like them to meet. Be sure to;
- Ask your children if they have any questions
- Let your children know that you have plenty of love to go around
- Talk about what your new partner is like
- Ask your children where they would like to go to meet your new partner
- Keep the first few visits minimal and stick to an easy location
- If your partner has children wait until your children have had a few visits before introducing their children, and the same for you and their children
Family is a priority
Even though it’s a wonderful thing to have a new relationship and your children are starting to come around to the idea. It’s still important to move slowly and not overwhelm your children with your new relationship. As you continue to date your new partner take things slowly with your children.
- Don’t invite your new partner to everything you do with children
- Sleep-overs should be for when you don’t have your children
- Make sure your children are still your number one priority
- Hold back on showing extra emotion
- Don’t pass your children to your ex-spouse so you can see your new partner
A divorce lawyer’s advice on how to Handle Your Former Spouse’s new partner
Working with a Texas Family Law Attorney
It is essential that you work with a Texas family law attorney who understands not only the difficulties of getting a divorce but understand what happens after you are divorced. Our Texas family law attorneys are here to answer all your questions and support you before, during, and after your divorce.