What are some signs that you should talk with a divorce lawyer?

How spouses feel about their relationship are often red flags that they’re headed for a divorce. It’s important you know what to expect, gather information and leave time to consider all options before making important decisions.

The following types of comments or thoughts often indicate you should think about talking with a divorce lawyer:

  • My spouse says he’s not in love with me anymore.
  • I just found out my spouse has had a girlfriend/boyfriend for months/years.
  • My spouse said, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” and I knew he/she wanted a divorce.
  • We’re like roommates.
  • When the kids were out of the house, I realized we’d just grown apart.
Generally, the sooner you talk to a lawyer, the better. The advantage of talking with a lawyer early on is having ample time to plan your divorce. We can help you consider how the timing of divorce relates to taxes, debts and living arrangements with children and provide you options you may not know exist. Also you may need to take actions to protect your legal rights and we can also advise you about that.

Can we still use mediation if my spouse and I can’t communicate?

Chances are you can. A mediator’s job is to facilitate communication. While you and your spouse may not be able to agree on issues, after listening to both of you, a mediator can often help you find common grounds. To some extent a mediator can also act as buffer and help diffuse arguments. It helps when you each can say your piece. And sometimes hearing your spouse’s side of the story is a good thing, helping you look from a different perspective and find a way to compromise. If you are absolutely opposed to sitting in the same room with your spouse, many mediations occur where the parties never even lay eyes on one another.

What can you do when you know your spouse is hiding something; you can feel it and you can’t live like that?

Whether you suspect your spouse is hiding assets or an affair,— when you just can’t live like that ─ Texas law allows you to get a divorce. You may feel like you deserve to be happy and divorce is the only way to find your happiness. The ground for a no fault divorce is insupportability. Insupportability means that discord or personality conflicts have broken down the marriage to the point where you don’t believe you can reconcile. Insupportability does not place blame or “fault” on either party. If hidden assets are an issue, your lawyer can investigate, trace assets and protect your rights during property division. If a hidden relationship is the problem, investigation before separation can be invaluable in the resolution of your divorce.

Do you feel like your children deserve better?

If you’re fighting with your spouse and unable to get along, you’re right: Your children do deserve better. Studies show that conflict is what harms children the most — even more than breaking up a marriage. Even a low conflict intact marriage is harder on children than a divorce where afterward, parents get along without any conflict. Maybe you and your spouse can be better co-parents than you are spouses. If you can be, you’ll have a more positive influence on your children than if you stay together and continue to expose your children to conflict.

Does this sound familiar?  If so, we can help you.  Whether you want the divorce or you’re responding to your spouse’s request for one, C. E. Borman & Associates can help you protect yourself and your family.